Low

No more than a week ago, I was having what seemed like a great summer: meeting new people, spending my days relaxing by the pool surrounded by friends and nights partying.

I remember the day it all went to shit. I had just been thinking how happy I was becoming and how much easier everything was seeming. T, E, M, A, H and I were all hanging out at the swimming pool, the sun beginning to set and beads of condensation forming around our red cups. We had begun calling ourselves "The Clan" since we were always together and they stayed at my house so frequently.



"Hey Soph, your phone is ringing." A called from the chairs.
"Can you hand it to me?" I asked reaching for the towel to dry my hands with. He throws me my vibrating phone, it nearly falling out of my hands.

I answer. It's my mother.
"Hello?" I say questionably, wondering what the fuck she wants with me.
"Pack your bags, we're moving." She announces, as if announcing that we just won a free trip to vegas.
"What?" I say, my stomach plummeting.
"I said we're moving. I already have a house and everything. We'll be there tomorrow morning to pick you and T up." She says. I hang up the phone and slowly set it down without saying anything to her. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and my heart starting to race. I look to T and the second his eyes meet mine, he knows something is wrong. He wades through the water that smells strongly of chlorine.
"Is everything okay?" He says. I try to catch my breath. It feels like I've been running.
"No. No. Nothing is okay." I say. My voice is shaking and my face is hot.
"What happened?" He says sounding concerned.
"We're moving." I mutter.
"What?" He says with surprise.
"I said we're moving." I repeat quietly, tears beginning to stream down my face. I get out of the pool and T follows me. By now all our friends have come over to see whats wrong. They all look surprised when I tell them. E and M call my mother to talk to her and confirm it all.
It's all true.

Everyone is silent, and I am sitting on a curb near the pool entrance. This will be the 24th state I move to.

A few minutes go by and everyone starts to pile back into the car, each of them offering advice. "Maybe she wont go through with it", "You'll be fine kid, lets just get home and grab a beer", "You'll feel calmer after a shower".
T held my hand through the car ride home.


Once we got home, I called my mother back.
"I'm not going." I say.
"You don't have a choice, unless you can come up with 2000 for rent." She retorts.
"You can't do this to me." I say angrily.
"Not everything is about you. You'll live. Now pack your shit. I'll be there in the morning." She says, and hangs up.


Feeling helpless, I turn on the shower. I sit my fat ass in the bottom and bawl my eyes out for a good two hours.
I don't think I've cried that much since my dad died.





A week later and here I am. Sitting in this shitty town with no friends, no means of transportation, and nothing to do. The only thing thats kept me from losing my mind so far is T, and even hes getting sick of my constant depression and unexplainable anxiety.

I can't sleep anymore, I eat everything in sight, and I have managed to cry at least once everyday over something small and stupid since I've moved here.

I fucking hate it here and I want to go home. I want to get back to the place with my REAL family. The people that were there for me, and got drunk with me, and laughed with me: my friends.

I didn't even get to say goodbye...





Readers, I really have no idea what to do. I'm pissing off T with my constant clingy-ness. My parents don't care at all so I avoid saying anything to them. My phone has no service so I can't even talk to familiar people. On top of all this shit, I can't stop eating and am a cow. I just want to go home.



XOXO Sophia Ruins <3