alright.

this is awful.

so i ate whatever i felt like [and some stuff i didnt feel like] all through the 24th, the 25th, the 26th, and today.

i feel really guilty, and ive been dreding writing this down for the past few days. i feel like ive failed so much. god its horrible.

partied in my basement last night. there was a tid bit of alcohol =x
and boys =x

and there might have been a little dancing =x

i feel guilty about it because my bf wasnt there even tho im usually not the kind of girl to care about stuff like that. i geuss i just dont wanna end up the fat slutty girl at parties who hits on everyone constantly because she cant get anyone in the real world.

but im not slutty.

and i dont hit on everyone at pasrties. in fact i dont hit on anyone.

and i have someone in the real world.

idk i geuss i wouldnt feel guilty about everything all the time if i could just keep my fat mouth shut and stop shoving christmas cookies and new years cake.

=/


it seems like everytime i eat, something goes wrong.

my parents start fighting,

i loose something,

something gets stolen,

i get in trouble for something.

everyone around me is in a bad mood for some ungodly reason


idk.

stuff.

wierd, on the 24th, i weighed like 125 at night.

yes,

you read right.

125.

its awful i know. i almost threw myself out a window when i read the number.

but today i get up and im exactly 120. its like the more i eat the less i weigh but the fatter i look.


the less i eat, the skinnier i look but the more i weigh.


wtf?

everything is fucked. up.


g2g.

bye <3