How the fuck am I 124 lbs?
I notice myself going throughout my day and not even thinking about food at all then getting to the end of the day and T telling me I've had half a cup of tomato soup and "should really eat something". I love this. I'm literally too distracted to eat.
My mother has disappeared off the face of the earth again. I've heard from her a couple of times but for the most part she doesn't answer the phone and isn't coming home. Also, she keeps saying that shes "finally happy" now and that she "doesnt feel like coming home".
Well congratulations bitch, I'm glad you get to prance around having the time of your fucking life while I get screamed at by stepfag even more than before.
This is definitely NOT the first time she's done this to me. I won't get into the abandonment issues now but long story short this is common for her. Runaway and let Sophia deal with everything.
I've made a new rule: no eating anything more than half a cup and if not measurable in cup sizes then I can only have 3 of it in a day. Three crackers, three palm-sized pancakes, three bread crusts. Two of it in a day if its bigger than the size of my palm.
I haven't been counting calories and I haven't been fasting which I'm starting to see as a good thing. Every time I fast, it ends in binging and depression and when I count calories I obsess over food and convince myself I can have "just a little more". By relieving my focus from food, I should be able to lose weight faster and more efficiently.
I can't wait to be small. I won't ever have nightmares about wearing a bikini again. I will be tiny and my waist will be non-existent. I will at some point succeed and all of my efforts will pay off.
I had pancakes this morning. Two, barely the size of my palm. I ate them with 0 calorie spray butter and splenda. They were amazing.
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
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i have a recipe for 110 Calorie FAT-FREE pancakes. They are amaze! Email me if you want the SUPER EASY recipe!!! (it makes 2 pancakes and they seem like real pancakes....)
ReplyDeleteMeggirl6556@yahoo.com
Hi i´m really glad your doing so well, but i thought i should tell you that it´s not 0 calorie spray butter. They say its 0 cal per serving (1 spray), but actually its 0.97 cal per serving and since it´s under 1cal they are allowed to say 0. So if you spray 5 times it´s nearly 5 calories. Just thought you should know:) Lots of Love.
ReplyDeletePeace Out<3
Woooooo!!! Go you and your amazing drive :)
ReplyDeleteIs it hard to avoid Titties (the stepfag)? Shave his head in his sleep, girl (;
xo
Victoria
I love your philosophies on food.
ReplyDeleteYour mum is such a bitch, i dont know how many times ive written that in a comment, but i dont understand how she could just do that to you - repeatedly!?
Hope you're ok.
You sound like you're doing well, at least :)
Congrats on the 124! Thats awesome.
xx
It's awesome to hear you're doing so great.
ReplyDeleteI'm helpless. I can't stop binging.
I'm going to die of an overdose on self hatred.
Somebody help me.
You keep up the good work. You're gonna look great in your bikini this summer. If you see a whale washed up on shore you can know that that is me.
xo- vanilla finnegan.
(www.pro-ana-finnegan.blogspot.com)
Your mom is a nightmare girl!! She really is. Jesus christ.
ReplyDeleteI'm still reading :) I'm still here! I just need to get back to posting again. My fat ass can hardly click the on button to my computer, let alone type about my boring life.
Love you!
-Oiseau