beautiful day binge-fuck 120 lbs

okay.
so i woke up this morning, and for the first time in idk how long my stomach was actually FLAT.
i mean sitting, standing, lying down, every which way flat.
i was so ecstatic i almost cried.
im not trying to gloat.
or be conceited.


B made plans with me.
they didnt end up happening
oh what a surprise.
so i got bored.
my step-fag ordered pizza.
my mom offered me a piece.
i had half.
threw the rest out.
then for some retarded ass reason i couldnt help myself and get half of another piece.

so todays total is 281 calories.
fuck me.
todays total would have been 14 calories.
i had no apetite whatsoever today.
not entirely sure why i didnt just tell myself no.
im gunna gain so much weight.
ill probably 130 by tomorrow.
is it possible to gain ten pounds from a piece of pizza?
i think it is.
at least it is in my world.


okay so enough of the bad things, and onto the good stuff.

ahh
right.
not sure if there is any good stuff.

okay so ive written like a million books so far, but i never finish the endings.

i always write till about the climax and just stop.
sometimes i loose interest, sometimes im lazy, sometimes i just dont want the story to end.
ive never considered myswelf a writer even though its something i do fairly often.

so theres another story building up right now.
ive been brainstorming a lot the past few days.

not sure if im going to finish this one, but if i do then its getting published.

fuck me.
that pizza is getting to me.
i can practically FEEL the food turning to fat and sludging its way into the tissue above the muscle.
heavy, space-consuming, drowing, disgusting.
i dont want it.

worst part is, i know im not guna work out before i go to bed.
im extremely lazy.
its terrible.


oh did i mention,
B told me the color of my aura the other day.
he just randomly brought it up over the phone.
says its yellow.
youll all probably think im insane, but ive seen it too.
and it is in fact yellow.
a bright yellow.
ive always kind of doubted it though, i always thought my eyes were just that bad.
but i was right.
and it was really weird because i didnt take him to be that kind of guy.

the interesting kind i mean.



not sure i have anything too interesting to say myself today actually.

today was one of those days though.

the sun was beautiful outside, and the air was warm.
all i needed to get through the better part of the day was a glass of watered down orange juice. this is usually not the case.

so i went outside.
put on a white dress and slept in the grass.
it was itchy, but smelled sweet, like just before it rains.
it was fairly long too. came to about my face.
i rolled around, picked some flowers,
and enjoyed LIFE.
i made a flower crown. the flowers were the brightest shade of yellow ive ever seen, and were quite stunning against the grass.
there was no clouds in the sky.
everything was so quite.

i love days like these.


and i hate pizza.




XOXO Sophia Ruins <3