so i ruined my fast before i could even call it a fast and now my motive is to just fix my metabolism.
i know im going to gain weight from this, and ive already gained way too much but i cant keep going through this cycle of binge fast binge.
so far today ive eaten somewhere around 700 calories spread throughout the day.
im eating my most calorie filled meal at the beginning of the day so i have time to burn it off and im slowly decreasing the amount of calories during the day so that the last thing i eat is under 100 cals.
i hate eating this much, i hate food, and i wish there was something to fix my metabolism without me gaining weight.
unfortunately, gaining weight is a part of the metabolism fixing process.
so i geuss im just going to do what i have to do to get my body right again, and then im going to start all over fasting and restricting, and fucking it all up just to lose some weight.
isnt this a wonderful world i live in?
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
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its a vicious cycle, but we know it is worth it
ReplyDelete:) stay strong.
xx
Haha, what a wonderful world it is Sophia my love.
ReplyDeleteI live there too...
*sigh*
x
Since they reckon you have to eat something little every 3-4 hours to keep your metabolism burning I have an apple or carrot and low-cal crackers with mustard. That and having a low-carb dinner was the best advice the physio ever gave me <.< >.>
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the strength to fast, but I get he dizzies really bad. :(
You can do it hun! I know you can! Lol you're gonna be Queen Skinny Bitch of Ruinsdom in no time!
*hugs!*
we are all living in the same strange world but as long as we know we're not alone I think it's bearable,right? =) *bighug*
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