The Writer

i officially have 200 followers.
'i wanna thank my parents.. oh gosh im sorry [wipes tears] and umm my manager, and god yeah i definitely wanna thank god for this opportunity.. and..'

that was my acceptance speech in case you didnt get that haha


so ive been binging insanely since the last time i posted.
and i really want to fast but i dont think ill be able to manage it anytime soon since im going to be around family non-stop the next few days.
the advice you guys gave me on my last post was amazing, btw.
and i plan to follow it right after a quick fast to get all this disgusting shit ive been piling into my stomach lately. i want a fresh clean start before i try to even out my metabolism and whats a betetr way to do that than to fast right?


yesterday was my sisters birthday and we all had a great time.
after we got home, my mom went out with her friends and i told her i was going to invite some people over and she didnt really care since i havent been asking for a whole lot lately.
so i invited over a few close friends [i orginally invited 4] and figured wed all hang out and do stupid stuff like usual, but 4 turned into 5 and 5 turned into 15, and before i knew it i had people i didnt even know carrying coolers into my basement.
of course i went upstairs to go change and call my mom to tell her there would be people in the basement and by the time i walked downstairs, it was like going into a different world.
oddly enough, no one was bouncing off the walls, no one had broke anything of mine [or theirs] and no one was so drunk i had to take their keys. [i had to shower and everything so i was gone a good hour and a half].
someone had brought champagne and set up the loud speakers with good music.
i made my way through the crowd to find G, one of my good female friends and we got into this conversation with a few guys i didnt really know. well i was getting buzzed and asked if anyone else needed a drink, and this girl asks if we have stuff to make belini's and i say im a killer pretend bartender so im sure ill find something and eventually im heading back upstairs with a list of different things people want.

i was feeling pretty good since i knew my mom wouldnt be back until later and the second i open my parents liquor cabinet, [mommy dearest doesnt need to know about this story], a guy walks in with a few of his friends through my front door.
i recognize D and he says hi and asks where everyone's at.
i tell him downstairs and he and all his friends start walking except for one.
this one guy who didnt look a day over 19.
he had the presence of a stage actor and a sort of air about him that someone only reads about in 50's themed novels. he looked at me and i was met by the most beautiful stark pair of sea green eyes ive ever seen.

"youre sophia right?" he says. i almost melted.
"uh.... YEAH. yeah i am. haha. hi." yeah i made myself look like a total idiot.

he grinned this million dollar smile and offered to help me mix some drinks.
it took us forever, and he kept cracking the funniest jokes that only delayed our trip to the basement.

he went down with most of the drinks we made and i stayed back to finish making me and G's drink.

i went down the stairs and was hit by the heavy familiar scent of tobacco and the quiet rush of conversation.
i looked through the smoke, and the lighting that made my basement look like a jazz bar, to see none other than, THE guy standing in the center of the room telling what looked like an extremely interesting story. there were crowds of people around him, and i could see his eyes flicking back and forth between people. i go to G to hand her her drink when the crowd began roaring with laughter at whatever the guy was saying.

"what happened?" i ask G
"he just told the most HILAAAHreeus story about some cops that were at his house yesterday." she says drawing out the words like strings from her mouth.
"oh." i say looking around for the guy

somehow i manage to get myself locked into a conversation with B [yes, THAT B.] who had decided to show up. he stood there, begging me to get back with him while i just looked at him like he must be semi-retarded or something.
i feel someone touch my elbow to get my attention and i turn around to see boy. [i geuss im jsut going to call him boy since i dont know his name].
B is still melodramatically professing his "undying need for my love" when boy asks me if i like dancing.
just like magic, a great song comes on and boy and i spin off into the crowd to enjoy some movement. hes a great dancer needless to say.
so i feel like im having the best night of my life and i dont think things could get any better.
but they do.
after dancing my gluttonous little heart out, me and boy ended up sitting on the couch along the basement wall, talking about philosophy and art and foreign countries and all kinds of things that would have been boring if it wouldve been anyone else talking about them.
oh but him.
he brought a fire, a kind of spark to everything that came from his mouth.
he had charisma.
he told me he was a writer, he played with my hands, he laughed, he lit a cigarette.

in the middle of a sentence he exclaims "hey! i have an idea."
i stare at the devilish smirk on his gorgeous face and hope to god hes not about to offer me heroin or ask me to fuck him.
i was just holding my breath for him to turn into every-other-guy-out-there and for the magic to fade.

he stood up, told me to get on his back, and then carried me outside to my pool.

i could feel the knot of tension in my stomach while i wondered if he was secretly thinking 'when can i put porky girl down.'

we stood there, and he jumped into my pool, clothes on and everything.

i stood horrified for a minute, wondering if he was for real.

'get in or ill throw you in!' he warned

i say fuck it, and jump in.


we talked more, we kissed, he showed me constellations.

straight fairy tale bullshit.

eventually, the party winded down, and he said he had to go.
almost everyone had already left except for G and the only other car in my driveway belonged to him and G was about to hit the road.
he leaves, after telling me im "the most interesting stunning girl" hes ever met.

i say bye to him, and after everyone leaves, im still high as a cloud off this interaction with who i believe to be 'the most interesting man in the world'. [get it? from the dos equis commercials?

i go to bed only to replay the night over and over again in my head.



and here i am.
its 6 something in the evening and i havent heard from him, or about him.
ive asked as many people i know if they know who he is, but they have no clue.
i asked D if he knew him since they came here together, but D couldnt even give me a name because he doesnt know.

he was addicting to say the least.

and i really want to know when the next time ill see him will be.

maybe i can lose major weight before then.

or what if i never hear form him again?

what if all ive got to remember him is my couch downstairs that still smells like axe and cigarettes?

i want to see him again.


or maybe i dont.

maybe id rather preserve the perfect memory without allowing future problems to tarnish it.


oh, the perfect memory of the writing boy.




XOXO Sophia Ruins <3