i got home last night and my mom, my stepdad, and a few of our friends were all sitting outside talking.
they told me to come sit with them and so i did.
we were all hanging out, talking about stupid stuff when we get onto the subject of inherited physical characteristics.
S starts saying she got her dads nose and her moms hair and i say i got my moms hair too and were all having an okay time.
then my stepdad goes "was your dad fat?"
and i said "no, why?"
and he said "i was just wondering why your so chubby. maybe you got the fat gene from moms side."
so of course i throw a fit and start yelling and the worst part is, he said he wasnt trying to be mean.
he said he was just being honest with me.
then of course, after i cussed him out, he starts getting mad back, and he says
"its your own god damn fault your fat anyways so i dont know what your so mad about. you 16. you know your life is only going to go downhill from here. your going to end up old, alone, and obese with a bunch of cats."
wanna know whats worse than that?
he was completely sober when he said all this shit.
so i broke some dishes his mom gave him last christmas, grabbed a bottle of jack daniels, and locked myself in the bathroom.
and of course i just sat there and drank myself into oblivion bawling my eyes out and texting my ex.
i woke up this morning, (still drunk), and my mom forced me to go to breakfast with her so she could tell me that he was just being an asshole and i shouldnt listen to him.
but i couldnt eat.
i wont eat.
i dont want to get better anymore.
fuck fixing my metabolism,
fuck being a healthy weight,
fuck my stepdad,
and fuck being sober.
im never eating again and i will never fucking forget what he said to me.
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
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Wow, that's really fucked up. But when you're thin, imagine his face. Just focus on yourself and your goals!
ReplyDeletewow sweety, that is horrible - not that you need it pointed out.
ReplyDeletei agree with olivia, just focus on yourself. do not ruin yourself because of what other people think about you; all that matters is what you think about you. i mean, obviously you can't agree with him if it made you so entirely upset, yes? There must be something inside you that told you otherwise, told you that you were not chubby, that you did not in fact inherit a fat gene, which made you so upset.
focus on you. become who you want to become, create who you want to be created and in the end, whether or not people see the final picture is entirely irrelevent if you see the final image staring at you from within a mirror
im sorry but he sounds like a fucking cunt! what right does he have to say that?!
ReplyDeleteparents wonder why our generation has grown into a bunch of anorexic, drug addict alcoholics - well go figure!
hope u feel better
xx
dont listen to him he is a total asshole and the best way to kick his ass is to show him how skinny u can be..
ReplyDeletei have a stepmom and if she would ever say that to me i would totally kill her.. break the plates in her head and i wouldnt care what my dad would say.. ur mom should be so mad at him for saying that.. what an awful person.. stay strong girl!
Shit. What a bastard.
ReplyDeleteI know this is gonna sound stupid, but i guess its motivation?
Just think, when you are tiny, you can bring it up. And he'll look like the wanker he is.
I love you, keep strong, ignore the asshole :) x
Your step-dad is a cock.
ReplyDeleteCan I deck him?
If you ever end up in serious shit, blame it all on him.
How the hell can your mum defend that asshole?!
He's a pathetic old cuntsack who makes himself feel better by picking on those weaker than him.
Don't let that sick sack of crap define who you are or will be. When you are amazing, successful and delivering your acceptance speech for an award, thank everyone everyone else EXCEPT him. Or make it really backhanded XD
*Hugs and strong thoughts*
your stepdad sucks. use what he said as motivation. we're all here for you.
ReplyDeletexoxo
vixen
Oh GOD what a fucking asshole. I am so sorry, sophia. Please know it's him, not you. Sober or not, he's drunk on his meanness. Much love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteWow....let me kill him for you?
ReplyDeleteHonestly (I know you don't believe this, none of us do. That's the problem) I saw pictures you put up of yourself a long time ago and you are SO not fat. Anyone could see that. The only reason I see for what he said is that he knew it would cut you the deepest. What a little bitch. I swear.
oh sweet heart he is such a ass! Screw him! He is the one who is alone you mom said he is an ass! I'm so sorry and focus on your goals! we will be beautifull with legs like match sticks! then he will be the one who feels like the complete loser he is! He is mean and he was just trying to hurt you probably because he knows how strong you are and sees you as a threat! thin(K) thiN!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Lyndee Reese
Sophia, I can't even begin to tell you how much your comment means to me. Thank you so much. I really blurt out the nearest thing to my craziest thoughts, so that makes me feel better to know you don't mind how it comes out! Thanks.
ReplyDelete