okay so ive been horrible at posting consistently lately but yesterday i had 293 calories when the ABC goal was 300.
today im supposed to eat 400.
now, according to the scale, i havent lost any weight at all, and ive been at the same weight since i started this whole ABC thing but for some reason, im completely convinced that my arms look smaller than they did before.
whatever.
im not even going to bother getting all pissed off because the weight wont go away.
im sure itll go away eventually, since a person really isnt supposed to be able to live off below 900 calories let alone maintain weight.
im still way too embarrassed to post my weight anyways.
you know, my mother probably shouldnt have had kids.
shes too much of a business person to want to bother with kids [which she doesnt]
and she rarely has time enough to spend with the "children" she already has.
[we'er less like children and more like very short adults. well at least my sister is a very short adult. im just a regular adult i geuss.]
im not about to go off ranting and raving about my mom or anything, since shes not being incredibly horrible atm but i will say that i think her life wouldve been better off by her standards if she wouldve just skipped the baby making section of her 20's.
im sure she loves us and everything, but thats only because she has to. because shes our mom.
i dont really know where im going with this, except to make the point that my mom is cold and stuck up most times.
she can be cool, dont get me wrong,
but most times shes too busy with her quest for attention to be pleasant.
[my mom is great to hang out with and can be pretty fun.]
but thats just because shes my mom.
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
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well done on the cals, you have more will power than I could ever ask for!
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Don't you hate when you keep trying & the scale doesn't budge? I feel like if it would budge slightly I would be so much more motivated! Stupid scale...
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish my mom was more like yours - mine is overly meddle-ish & finds ways to involve herself more & more in my life.
xo
And now im completely through your archive. Haha, i found your blog a few days ago and have been reading nonstop since. I find you to be quit lovely!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on the calories, by far better than i've done!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'ma bsoluelty positive your mom loves you, maybe she doesn't give much time to show it, like mine.
My mom had me when she was 16, and i know she wishes she didn't.
Keep it up on ABC, your doing brilliantly. <3
Hey Sophia, don't worry about the scale this time, if you really look smaller to your eyes. I mean really, if an ED person sees SMALLER, then you really must have lost something, what with body dismorphic shit and all. The scale will change with your body's makeup, not the other way around. If the scale goes up some, your body doesn't say, "Oh, the scale went up some, I better balloon up to match! where should I grow? quick, think..." Your body is either the same, or probably smaller, like you said, since it seems smaller, since you have an ED and have a skewed body image.
ReplyDeleteMuch love.
I am really happy for you, sticking to it. Not worrying too much about the weight is a good idea-stress just slows your metabolism down, you know. I haven't even weighed myself in forever, I'm so imbarrased, so at least you don't have the burning question in the back of your mind to deal with.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about your mom.
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