124 =]

okay so the morning i started the fast i weighed 128. and this morning i weighed 124 lbs. so thats 4 lbs in two days. i was hoping for more [did you know you can loose up to 10 lbs in two days for fasting?] but im just glad its coming off. i worked out for a good hour and a half yesterday and did ballet stretched for 30 minutes aswell.

you know, ive been thinking. you hear all these over-weight people saying that they arent happy being on a diet and they are happy eating and being the way they are, [thats fine, idc about them] but im not happy like that. life is to short to live the way you dont want. i want to be thin, i want to fit into all the gorgeous clothes, i want to go back into modeling, i want to be envied, i want it all.

so anyways, todays day two of the fast, yesterday went really well, and im thinking about going for 4 days instead of just three. idk. ill see where im at.
so i think the exercise i did yesterday did me a lot of good. my hip bones are becoming defined again, [i wouldnt go as far as to say they stick out like they used to] but you can definitely see the curve of them now and for some reason i can feel my ribs a lot more now. the space between my thighs has gotten bigger and i think in a few more days they wont touch at all anymore. so i think even though i only lost 4 lbs, i think i lost some body fat. is that possible? or could it all just be in my head? is it possible that if i worked out for a day and fasted at the same time, then i could be seeing results by the next day? im not too sure.


god i remember when my hip bones stuck out and everytime id hug someone theyd make a comment. not aymore. i remember how much i hate being 120. god id rather start off at 120 than had to have started off at 128.

but no more nonsense. im planning on working out a lot today and purposely over booked myself so there will be absolutley no time to think about food.

i also havent been in the kitchen since thursday. everytime my mom offers me food i just say no thanks. i dont even bother saying ive already eaten or coming up with a good excuse anymore. i think even if i told my mom she wouldnt care. shed probably laugh actually, then tell me to deal with it myself. so i dont really think i care anymore. actually, im lying, i dont want them to know, but i dont think it would be too devastating if they did know.




so im posting some thinspo later.



peace

XOXO Sophia Ruins <3