HEYNOWFUCKYOU

My friend made a joke.

"oh yeah, because you have a huge potbelly. let me tell you. Just look at that potbelly."


But what ifs he was serious.I know he was serious. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate myself.




I wish I would stop drinking.

I wish I would stop eating. I cant sfucking STAND anything about myself. I dont want to be me. I want it to just fucking go waway. Im too drunk forany thing. I am too fucking fat to live. I wish my ex would call me. I fucking hate my ex. I wish my crush would call me. I fuckin ghate my ex. I fucking hate my crush.

I hope they both die.





I fasted today.


Who actually fuckint cares anymore?


I'd rather be this than pordinary.


I love hte ups and downs. theyre better than boredome i guess.

I shpould stop drinking.


OR NOT.


I cant fucking stand boys trying to controll me.


I bawled my stupidd fucking eyes out to my momw. About my weight of course. Because im an asshole.

She understood.

Theen to my yms stepdad.

He cried. and understood. He wishes oi would stop. He says he doesnt like yelling at me. He just wants me to eat.


I hope he fucking dies.



I will call my ex otnight, and I will drink as much as I FUCKING PLEASE.

Im sorry for posting drunbk. ill feel like an asshole when I wake up, so dont worry.



XOXO Sophia Ruins <3