Oh Christmas Tree

Alright so my Christmas / Christmas Eve was insanely lame. Heres basically what happened:

After I posted, titties [stepdad] decided to make Christmas EVE dinner instead of Christmas dinner.

I surprisingly did pretty well, only eating the steamed green beans with zero calorie spray butter and mountains of diet coke.

Well, I got up Christmas morning and I was still 123 lbs. I had a fit of joy, worked out, and thanked god I didnt gain anything.

Then Christmas day rolls around and I fast all day, up until 9 at night. Then, my parents make everybody sit down for dinner AGAIN, and to my horror, piles of cupcakes and turkey and pie, and shit that definitely WASNT there christmas eve is sitting on the table, glaring at me.

I smile, thinking "oh this will be a piece of fucking cake."
I put food on my plate, move it around, complain that my stomach hurts and I dont feel good, and then ask if I can wrap up my food and just eat it later.

My moms exact words were: "stop faking and eat your food. you cant gain weight from a spoonful of christmas dinner with your family."

Ohhhh fuck you.

A "spoonful"? THEY WERE PUSHING PLATES OF FOOD AT ME!

So I figure I can still get away with it, have a forkful of salad, spit candied yams out in my napkin, and explain to them that I dont eat meat because "I, unlike SOME people, [insert smug look on face here] respect the SANCTITY of LIFE and REFUSE to murder poor HELPLESS animals."

Then I tell then I ate a huge lunch while they were gone and I simply cant fit anymore into my stomach.
Mom buys it, until step-fagg tells her loudly that I didnt eat anything today and he knows, because he put an empty can in front of the fridge to see if I opened it.


SNEAKY FUCKING BASTARD.


So I strategically turn it around and scream that they dont trust me, then storm off into my room triumphantly thinking I evaded dinner.

I shouldve known better.



Im sitting in my room, and my parents walk in and remove the tv I was previously watching. I laugh at them and sarcastically pretend im having a heart attack because the tv's gone.

They give me dirty looks and take my laptop too.

My stepdad mutters "thanks for ruining christmas" while walking out.
I throw an empty beer can at him.

He flips out, and my mom tells me im grounded.


You may be asking yourself when I got the idea that I can "disrespect" these people because they've done "SO MUCH" for me.

Well, the thing is, they HAVENT done much for me. Roof over my head or not, they make it known im not welcome here. I work my ass off, and all the money I make goes towards my cut of the house bills.

Plus some of the shit they say sometimes is just so ridiculous its impossible to take either of them seriously.

Maybe if they acted like adults I would "respect" them more.


So back to the story:

So im sitting there thinking about how great a story my "glory" will make when I get my laptop back, and then out of nowhere, my thoughts just stop.

All happiness and feelings of satisfaction disappear and im filled with a sick twisted feeling of despair. I havent felt this depressed so suddenly for years.

I think "i wont cry, ill just go to bed and feel better when I wake up."

I lie down.
one hour passes,
two hours pass,
more hours pass,
and before I know it, im look at an alarm clock that says 4:00 a.m.

Oh, thats right, I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE I DONT EAT ENOUGH TO KEEP THE CHEMICALS IN MY BRAIN BALANCED.

To be specific, im probably lacking a large quantity of melatonin, seratonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid. [how the fuck do I remember this shit?]


Or at least if im doing a good job at not eating, I SHOULD be lacking all these chemicals.


Anyways, so I basically sat there like a zombie obsessing about food until I finally drove myself over the edge and crawled to the kitchen where I proceeded to eat exactly 6 FUCKING TACOS 6 FUCKING CUPCAKES AND 6 GIGANTIC SPOONFULS OF STUFFING.

I felt like I was half a step away from gastric rupture when I remembered I cant eat certain foods because they DESTROY my stomach.

Basically, dairy makes my stomach hurt horribly, meat makes me throw up, and anything acidic or tomato-y [or sweet] gives me awful heartburn.

So, then I got to spend the rest of the early morning depressed and throwing my guts up.

A few hours ago, I decided to weigh myself and I ammmm, 126.


Ahh, good times.



XOXO Sophia Ruins <3