I completely ruined my fast.
So, I guess i'm going to fast today to make up for it.
I've been thinking about something a lot lately, and that something is whether im bulimic or anorexic.
Of course by the medical sense of the terms I would be diagnosed with EDNOS since I show signs of an ED but im not underweight.
But IF I was underweight, which would I be?
We all know I can't throw up to save my life [or my weight], but bulimia is actually characterized by binging and purging.
Now when I say purging, most people think purging = throwing up.
But, the definition of purging that accompanies bulimia patients is any compensatory behavior which includes throwing up, fasting, over exercising, etc.
Has anyone noticed that I usually have a hard time maintaining a set caloric intake, but I can fast my pants off if i've just finished binging?
But, when I first began to hate food [and my body], I was way better at restricting than fasting.
I feel like jack the pumpkin king in 'a nightmare before christmas'.
"what does it mean, what does it mean?!"
I love that movie.
Has anyone seen gemma ward lately?
I LOVE her as a model, shes got a really fantastic look but shes put on so much weight since heath ledger died [apparently they had a "thing"?]
It doesn't even LOOK like her, and I had to do some serious digging till I found out they actually confirmed its her.
One more thing before I go:
I would love to know WHY I associate thin with eating a lot.
Like everytime I see someone thin I always think "wow they must eat tons to get that small" then I realize that my statement make no sense.
Also, everytime im in the act of eating, I think "this is SO going to make me thinner" but then I remember that eating does not = thin.
I've been trying to break that association but I swear, everytime I turn around, there it is making no god damn sense.
oh, and you need this knowledge in your life:
http://www.aolhealth.com/healthy-living/longevity/flat-belly-shortcuts?icid=main|aim|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aolhealth.com%2Fhealthy-living%2Flongevity%2Fflat-belly-shortcuts
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
i doubt youd get classed as bulimic ive read about the non purging type but also remember you have to binge which is defined is eating more food than a normal person would in that length of time
ReplyDeletemost people eat more than 50 cals in one go i see most people pratically inhale that in seconds
oh my god gemma ward!! she was so skinny... that's really shocked me.
ReplyDeletestay strong sophia <3
oh no gemma!
ReplyDeleteit's always inspiring when models like her gain and lose again so quickly, though. it shows me that anyone can...
I think that in order to continue fasting without a binge, we have to pretend that everything we do that's not a fast is a binge, and work harder from there. I love it and I hate it =/
great work with the past thinspo :)
you should´t be discouraged by you 50cals, it could have been much worse, like a binge. Good luck with you fast tomorrow:)
ReplyDeletePeace Out<3
Hey, at least soup is liquid! Wow, Gemma has really gotten depressed i guess. Also, you're still EDNOS rite now. If you were underweight you would be nonpurging type anorexic. to be bulimic you have to have at least two binge/purge episodes a week for at least a month (sorry, i'm taking an abnormal psych course and we JUST covered EDs. i think I knew the more info than anyone else by far, lol).
ReplyDeletegood luck with the fast!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Metabolism. So many thin people I know are constantly eating. Factors could be..
ReplyDeletemetabolism
they eat small amounts of food all the time, adding up to few calories a day.
I find myself doing something like that.
you have to binge which is defined is eating more food than a normal person would in that length of time
ReplyDelete-
Or emotional eating. Impulse eating. Unplanned eating.
If you were underweight you would be nonpurging type anorexic
-
Someone else can't diagnose you online like this. Two binges a week is also a sign, though. You don't need a class, I researched it a looong time ago.
you are, like you said, an extreme person. Maybe you're fickle because you have unbalanced levels of serotonin? Characteristic of bulimia.
Bulimics are most often normal weight.
I just wanted to give more information for you think about.
When I see a super skinny person, I think:
ReplyDelete"Whoa! She must eat TONS and never gain a pound!"
And then I realize that she's probably just blessed with super metabolism powers and that the food has little to do with it.
I wanna be a biochemist so I can work with DNA and implant the better metabolizing genes in me. :) lol
Geez she was always one of my thinspo girls and she's bigger than me now!
ReplyDeleteWoooah.
Just hows how easy it is to gain if you don't focus!
cant say i blame her for getting fat. i mean, imagine how heartbroken she must be.
ReplyDeleteppff dont worry about that 50 cals. ive been going over my set cals for the past few days now. plus its liquid so thats always alittle bit better. your doing great.
stay strong
meg
When I first started restricting I was so strong, I could do it so easily, but I'm pretty usless at fasting.
ReplyDeleteOh my god that picture of gemma shocked me!
I love the nightmare before christmas ♥
oh and I read that article,
I will definately be taking those tips into account!
don't worry about the soup, I'm sure it hasn't ruined things, your so strong!
I know you can do this!
x
Thanks for the tips, I will definately be using those.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about fasting though, I find it so much easier to not eat anythink then to stop eating.
It's weird how all the thin people I know, are just blessed with good genes, they can eat anything and still be thin. I've seen a girl who is 105 pnds eat over 5,000 cals in a day, and she is still thin as a rail.
Don't worry about the soup though, it was only 50 cals, and it was liquid so you probably didn't get like many or any of the cals.
Stay strong Sophia :)
-Kelsey