Such Hostility

its fair to say i fucking hate my mother.

i mean i really, really fucking HATE my mom.

she never says ANYTHING remotely nice to me, and cant even bear being semi-pleasant to me.
this morning, she woke me up at 7 by screaming at me for leaving the toothpaste uncapped in my bathroom, and then proceeded to tell me im nothing but a lazy worthless piece of shit. [this whole 'lazy worthless piece of shit line is nothing new, ive been listening to it for the past 10 years so you might have heard this repeated in a few of my other posts].
so i get up, ON A SATURDAY, AT 7 O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, and get dressed for work [i have a real job now thank god].
i dont say anything to her, because i cant stand to even be in the same fucking room with her.
i ask her for a ride to work because i dont have a car [and i still havent gotten my license] and she bitches and screams at me, so i say forget it but she DOESNT SHUT THE FUCK UP. she just keeps running her mouth about how lazy i am and how much she dislikes me, so i call boyfriend and beg him for a ride to work.
of course he says no problem and drives me.

well, i get to work early [i was supposed to be working all day today but i dont start work till 11 and i dont usually work on weekends] and my boss is being cool for once and has me type up some easy shit and answer some phone calls.
about an hour or two later, he tells me i can take the rest of the day off since there wasnt as much to do as he thought.

i call boyfriend, who comes to pick me up.
i apologize for making him drive me everywhere blah blah blah.


i get home, and my mom starts yelling at me to clean the kitchen since "obviously im not doing anything important with my life".

i dont complain, and get it done even though its a fucking disgusting mess in there. [no one cleans in this fucking house except me. and IM the lazy one?]
then she makes me clean the bathrooms and the living room dining room, etc.

i dont complain, and just get it done.

afterward, she makes me clean out the garage and rake the lawn.


afterwards, i tell her i have to go do school work that i didnt get done yesterday because the internet was being fucky.

then she screams at me for not getting it all done yesterday.
when i tell her i couldnt get it done because the internet wasnt working right, she just bitched at me some more and said she hates me and my stepdad because were both lazy.


then i tell her that she doesnt have the right to bitch at me for his problems since its fault shes with him.
then she tells me her life would be better off without assholes like us [me and my stepdad] in it and that if she could go back and do it again she would.
then i tell her she shouldve kept her slutty legs shut and she wouldnt be having this problem.
then of course she cussed me out and i went inside.


later, she comes into my room and tells me to get dressed to go out.
i get dressed and of course she has a problem with my outfit. [im not really sure why since it was just a long sleeved shirt and jeans.]
she tells me to borrow something from my sister and see if it fits me.

of course i think shes joking because my sister is 10.
so i go back to my room and put something else on and go back out.

once again she has a problem and tells me to try on something of my sisters.
then i ask her what the hell would make her think that i could fit into a ten year olds clothes and she gave me the whole "i could when i was your age because i was just SOOOOOO THIIINNNNN" speech.

well i tell her that she should get a job that actually pays money instead of wasting time with her company [that she owns that is now failing] and then maybe she could afford to be me clothes that dont look awful on me.

then she tells me its my fault that im a fatass and that i "probably inherited the fat gene from my dad" and i tell her the fat gene is a load of bullshit and then she says "well whats your excuse then."

so the woman who is always complaining about me being "too thin" and "not eating enough" currently thinks im a fat whore.

though i cant argue with her on the fat whore part, i still think shes a bitch.

if i end up seriously fucked up in the head when i get older, she is the reason why.




im going to go binge now.



XOXO Sophia Ruins <3