chinese food

okay.

so it was going great.

and i really wasnt hungry.

then some people, J and G came over and J ordered chinese food. he kept asking me if i was hungry but i said i already ate.

then my mom was like "oh i know what she wants, she wants sweet and sour chicken, she loves that stuff."
the i was like "im really not hungry, i think YOU want some sweet and sour chicken."

then she was like you better eat what we ordered you because he just spent his money on you.

i was like wtf i didnt ask for anything so i waited a little bit and just before the food came i said i was really tired and was gonna go to bed so i wouldnt be around when temptation struck.

but my mom was like "dont think im letting you go to bed now, your foods almost here just wait." then i complained that i was exhausted from cleaning all day today and she wouldnt let me leave! then she goes "if you leave im taking away your fone and you wont get it back for a few weeks." so i was like "ill eat, im just tired and wanted to go to bed cuz i have to get up early tomorrow so i figured id eat it for lunch tomorrow."

she looked at me weird and told me to sit down [we were all talking outside]

then the chinese food came and i figured i could fill up a plate then sneak off and feed it to the dogs.
but my mom wouldnt even let me get up to GET a plate. she grabbed me a bowl and filled it like all the way fucking up then watched me.

i looked at her like she had issues and started eating. luckily, i have an innate sense of measurments when it comes to food. so i ate exactly a cup then offered to get everyone a drink. so i walked out pretending to scarf like i usually do when i eat and sprinted to the bathroom, flew open the window, and threw the food out.

im really proud of myself for having not eaten more than i HAD to.

eating is bad,

but my mom finding out is worse by far.

so yes, my fasting is ruined AGAIN,
but at least it wasnt my fault this time.

so im starting over again tomorrow.

btw, lost 3 llbs today =]

I WEIGH 117!!!! which is more or less the reason why im not really upset over the whole chicken thing.

im so ready to start over again tomorrow.

i think ill get better with practice.