my birthday

okay so im sorry i havent been on very much,
ive tried to find time to comment everyones things n whatnot but things have been wayy hectic lately and so its not working out too well.
i keep trying to find time to update but it seems like now that im eating everythings falling to pieces and ive been running around trying to put everything back together again.
im really thinking about jsut giving up on the eat-and-grow-tall thing and going back to ana.
idk...
ive been exercising everyday but its not doing a damn thing for me.
my family keeps telling me "oh youve got thinner!" but i know that theyre lying.
idk why but i know that they are.

god.
and im only going through more boy troubles.
too many and too much drama at one time is more my problem.
i rlly wanna break it off with all of them but i cant.

ahhhh

lol i feel like screaming.
iiiits okay though.
its all gunna be okay.


on a lighter note,


oh.. wait..
there is no lighter note hahaha

oh yeah.
about my birthday.

okay so today is my birthday and im turning 16,
my parents forgot,
didnt get me anything,
didnt tell me anything,
and wouldnt let me go anywhere.

oh but when i finally reminded my mom she said 'oh happy birthday'
then i got mad at her and was like 'you forgot!'
then she goes 'so? what are you, twelve?'

shit that hilarious.
my mom is a total bitch.


idk.
it still pisses me off but whatever.
nothing i can do about it.


im so ready to go back to ana..
i want to more than anything...
okay okay okay.

so i just came up with some options.
tell me what you think?

okay
option a)
i go back to eating around 200 cals like i used to for a month

option b)
i dont go back at all and dont sacrifice something i once had a huge passion for

orrr

option b)

i go back forever and just say fuck the height thing ill never be tall enough for editorial modeling anyways


hmm.

idk at this point.

hope youre all doing well

XOXO Sophia Ruins <3