great mood, great day, great numbers + needed thinspo

okay so today i had an amazing day. i woke up at 3 and after convincing myself yesterday that the only tie to food i have is mental and i dont really need it, it was amazing. i spent three hours worth of meditating on loosing weight and thinking of food as something to be looked at for the colors not to be eaten.

i found a bag of skittle i had hidden from myself today, and in stead of opening it up and devouring it, i simply put it back away. i didnt really think of it was 'mmm candy' i thought of it was 'look at the pretty colored beads'.

after thinking about it, i decided that i didnt need a list of two hundred reasons to keep going.

the only reason i need is that its something that i want. that alone is a damn good reason to me.

i think all i really needed was to have faith in myself and what i can do.

this morning i was 119, and feeling grateful that it was 120 [i officially hate that number after looking at it so long] and even though ive been gorging on water and a grapefruit cut into millions of pieces [65 cals] my weight is 117. and thats on a full stomach. plus i didnt even finish all of my grapefruit yet.

i think its going pretty well. i decided im going to make up rules.

i cant eat after nine p.m.,
i cant eat anything other than the food[s] chosen for that day,
i have to drink at least 4 bottles of water everyday,
no sugar,
no meat,
i can only have 2 cups of coffee,
and i can only eat after 2 p.m.

im liking my grapefruit-only diet thing a lot.

it keeps me full and the sour-ness makes me want to only eat a little and keep most of it saved.



you knwo what makes me kinda sad?

is that a lot of ana/mia girls n boys are sad a lot.
idk.
the only time i feel sad about ana is when im failing and binging.
othr than that, im a pretty happy person [even though i might not seem like it lol]
feeling empty brings me fulfillment that i cant get anywhere else.
watching my number go down and seeing my thigh not touch, is straight orgasmic to me.

yay! if i stay at 117 then i fast, in a day ill finally be at my STGW!! only two pounds to go!! =DDDD


i think ana is a blessing.

[sometimes.]

so yeah, have thinspo!

remember: teh only people who hate skinny girls are fat girls. <3
















































Some Quotes:

"you want food? youve got plenty in your thighs."
"I do eat: only what is needed for . I can't help it that we live in a piggish society where gluttony is the norn, and everyone else is constantly stuffing themselves."
"If I eat anything, I'll eat everything, so I eat nothing. "
"Extra pounds are the penalty I pay for overdrawing my calories checkbook. "
"It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting but it does help people to get interested in your soul. "
"Every calorie you eat equals another step toward destruction."
"If you have weight to lose, lose it. It wouldn't be there if you weren't supposed to lose it."
"Everything I want to be, I am, only buried under a layer of fat. "
"Only you can let yourself fail."
"Love not what you are, but what you may become. "
"Don't let todays moment forsake tomorrows dream. "
"If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive. "
"Elegance is refusal." - Coco Chanel
"It doesn't matter how slowly you go, just as long as you don't stop"
"To be thin is to be intelligent, witty, powerful, accomplished, talented, sexually attractive, & of course, healthy."
"French women are naturally slim, naturally thin. American women are victimized by their own culture. We don't have to live this way."
"You owe it to yourself to do this. After all, isn't the reason you gained weight to begin with that you didn't take care of yourself?"
"Beauty is expressed through pure form."